Is the glass half empty or half full?   Well, the jury is still out on that one, but before they come back with an answer, here is another question:  Who does the glass belong to?

Is it you? 

Is it me?

.....  And, who gets to decide that question? 

It is kinda like the question of: who decides where we are going to go to dinner, what movie are we seeing, and who really wears the pants in the family? 

According to John Gottman in his book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work",  if a man isn't willing to be influenced by his wife, there is an 81% chance of that marriage failing.  

That is a really high number. 

So, what can be done?  Well, in the words of my husband, 'You gotta wanna'.  You've got to really want your marriage to succeed-- more than watching your favorite sports game on T.V. if she's had a rough day, more than always getting to go to your favorite restaurant if he hates the food there....  it means give and take. 

I like to think I'm right 90% of the time.  Of course I'm not, but .... maybe 75%, right?  60%?  Hmmm...... maybe I better not go any further!  The thing is, most of the time I can only see with my own two eyes, and what I see is always going to be shaped by my experiences, my understanding of the situation, and well.....  the human brain can only absorb so much in any given moment.  So there is a whole lot of things I still don't know or understand. Which is why working as a married team can be so beneficial, if we let it.  

Take sushi, for example.  I NEVER ate it growing up.  (EWWWW. )  Well, one day, my husband wanted to choose a new restaurant to go to, and there was this sushi place.... and it was his turn to choose.... and it was scary going in..... and then to actually try it.....You can see where this is going, right?  I LOVED it.  In fact, I think I love it more than my husband does!  

It needs to go both ways, though.  So I took him to an Indian food place (can you tell we're foodies?!).  Yup, he liked it :)      

Are we perfect at this whole 'share the influence' thing?  Nope.  But that is ok.  We are trying.  

So instead of trying to see who gets the glass that is filled half-way, grab a couple of straws.... and fill the rest of the glass with love, laughter, and maybe a few hundred milk bubbles.