Last night I met with a bride and her fiance to review their floral arrangements for their upcoming wedding next month.  They will be holding the ceremony at a beautiful mansion, with a reception to follow at a home.   There will be 4 groomsmen, 4 bridal attendants, two dads, two moms, a step-mom, and two adorable ring-bearers.  There will also be two sets of grandparents in attendance.  The bride and groom love sports, cats, and seem very mellow-- no bridezilla here!  

"I wonder if they know what lies before them?" I think.  Do they have any idea what it will take to stay married?  Do they know that they have to give 100%?  

As a young bride, my bishop told me that there is only one way to succeed: give 100%.  Not 50%.  To give 50% would not work-- I had to be 'all in'.   

What does that mean? 

According to Elder Bruce C. Hafen, (author of Covenant Marriage: Why Marriage Matters, and How To Make it Last),  there is a difference between a covenant marriage and a contractual marriage.  A contractual marriage is another way of saying the 50% marriage-- I give some, you give some, and together we have 100%!  But what happens if someone is having a bad day?  Or disease or job loss occurs?  It starts to look like a failing marriage....

So what makes a covenant marriage?  It is giving 100% all the time.  It is believing, and behaving, in such a way that builds up the marriage continually.  As in forever--no matter what.  Through job loss, through sickness, through everything and everything-- even a yearly week-long visit from your crazy Aunt Petunia.   That's a really big amount coming from each individual. Which in turn, means that the marriage is more likely to do better, feel better, and succeed-- because even on those rough days, you know they have your back, and you've got theirs.   

"When we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength", (Hafen, 1996)  And it's true.   The more you build, the stronger your marriage can be. The stronger your marriage, the stronger your chances are for success.  

Build on. 

Elder Bruce C. Hafen, "Covenant Marriage" Ensign.  1996