Small Stitches

Find meaning in the little things.  Never go to bed angry.  Drink water daily.  

All good advice, right?

For a marriage to survive-- and thrive--  there needs to be something other than the big, flashy moments.  Those are nice (don't get me wrong-- I love a nice dinner and opportunities to dress up), but life isn't about the flash.

Marriage is about connection, and when you connect, you want the best, the strongest, the most enduring type-- right? If you have ever sewed anything, you know that the best sewing involves small stitches.  The big, elaborate-in-your-face-can't-miss-it stitches are great for embroidery, but not for the holding of two pieces of fabric together. "The more shared meaning you can find, the deeper, richer, and more rewarding your relationship will be. "  (Gottman & Silver, 2015, p. **)

You can stitch your marriage together with large elaborate vacations, but what will you do for the other 50 weeks of the year?  Sometimes we have to look at our lives with an eye to eternity, to see how life really can be.  Cleaning dishes may not be the most seemingly romantic time together, but serving one another, and most importantly-- working together to make life more pleasant for one another-- is like taking giant steps towards an eternal marriage. 

Ideas for small stitches: 

*Walk around the neighborhood

*Text your loved one during the day, and tell them how wonderful they are

*Fix them dinner-- or better yet, make dinner together

* Play Uno, Jenga, or even Tic-Tac-Toe

*Give the dog a bath (and be prepared to be soaked!)

*Wash the windows together 

*Go to the park

*Fix your loved one soup when they aren't feeling well

*Send flowers to them at work or home

*Read to them their favorite book, or a new one you've both decided to try

*Once a week,  do everything by candlelight. 

*  Dance in the kitchen

* Give hugs whenever you meet

Remember this: small acts of kindness bring large dividends-- and in marriage that is very true. 

Small steps.  Small changes. Small stitches.

And those are memories that build a future.