The Double Helix

Shoe shopping has always been a struggle for me.  Why?  Because I have a hard time finding what I really want.  I want a pair of comfortable shoes that have great tread, can go with a dress or jeans, won't become destroyed if it's raining (puddle-splashing.... yup, it's a thing for me!), and I can slip on and off in a half-second or less. ....  Did I mention I like a bit of sparkle, but understated is highly desirable too....and black is a classic 'go with everything' but blue makes me smile..... and budget wise: it's gotta fit my tiny budget.  My really, really, tiny budget. 
Oh-- and I almost forgot: they have to be well-made because I don't want to seek all over the place again for another pair of shoes.  Seriously, enough is enough!
Kind of an impossible dream, right?  
The thing is, with shoes I can give up on a bad pair, and try hoping for something better.  In fact, often times my shoes are the rattiest ones in the house (really--  I can spend a lot of time looking for just the right pair...), and the only thing I'm out of is time.  Oh, and gas.  
Relationships are different.  'Shopping Around', or 'Comparison Shopping ' isn't such a great idea after marriage-- it just isn't.  And unlike that time when I blamed my black clogs for my blister, looking for ways to blame your spouse for your imperfect life isn't going to help.  
So what can?  
Ironically-- in a double helix of fate-- fixing ourselves is what is most likely to help our marriage.   Aligning our hearts, wills, and attitudes towards God-- and letting go of things, philosophies, and attitudes that focus on ourselves-- is a much more effective plan for a lasting marriage. 
"...The greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. "  -- Henry B. Eyring
God is a miracle worker, and when we open the door to our hearts and minds to let Him in, He works with us to help us become our best selves...... which often then ripples outwards into our marriages, affecting (and effecting) our spouse for the better. 
Choices matter. 
Allegiances matter. 
Choose God. 
It may be a wild ride--  but the destination is worth it.  



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